Jamie Antonisse

Here's my principle of birthdays: A birthday is an anniversary celebration, not of one's Self, but of one's long-term love affair with the universe. Twenty six years ago I got thrown into this relationship, wet red and crying. None of the subsequent anniversaries have been quite as messy (I sincerely hope you can say the same) and that, at least, is something to be gracious about.

I have had some great birthdays by operating on this principle. I usually start out spending a good chunk of the birthday alone, reflecting on the year and wandering into whatever situation comes my way. Last year that meant jumping in the ocean with some dolphins, talking to random photographers while birds devoured my brunch in Santa Monica, and going into USC to plan out a ride-along in Compton (another story for another time). This birthday was different: I had Plans. My friend Chris was in town for the weekend, and with Belinda's help I had figured out some events to fill the day and make sure he enjoyed his stay in L.A.

I was vaguely and quietly skeptical about doing a birthday this way, with Planning and People and whatnot. I was dead wrong to be worried: with small clusters of friends, in their various configurations, swirling around for the whole afternoon, this birthday, above all others, reminded me of how I'm connected and who I'm connected to. I spend a lot of time physically alone these days, tethered to my computer, working on games and websites and other things that I consider Important Investments. I don't deny these things are essential: I am back, sitting at my desk, blogging, after all. But there is no contest, the people I've met in my life are worth infinitely more.

Damn, that ended up sort of mushy. It started out sort of mushy too. Sorry guys... I was a pretty mushy guy at twenty-five, and twenty-six, it seems, will be no different. Some day I will spit whiskey-soaked bullets through iron teeth and crack day-old terrier puppies over my knee to punctuate my thoughts. But not yet: I'm still young.