Jamie Antonisse

For the purposes of this post, "cinematic works" shall refer solely to one (1) digital audio-visual recording of a canine exercising its instincts on a young man of indeterminate age while said individual is attempting to exercise his own instincts upon a television screen.

Putting aside the transparent allegorical nature of this piece, it is worth noting that beyond the most immediately apparent activity, that of said canine, there is a secondary activity circumscribed by said cinematic works, an activity that is quite the opposite of a pelvic thrust. Indeed it is an activity that is almost heroic in nature. Despite overwhelming adversity, our secondary player (unnamed in the billing so we shall refer to henceforth as Hamlet) never once relinquishes his grip on his imperilled object of affection, the controller that connects him to a distant and mysterious objective(1).

Some would abandon this abstract task when faced with the hairy hind legs of the Present, but our Hamlet does not... so intent is he to achieve his higher purposes that he REACHES, holding his Galatea apart from the clay even as the mud consumes him. Not since the Rennaisance painters has such striving been contained in an image: the perseverance of the human spirit is woven in the digital fabric of our young Hamlet, and for those of us who can hear it wafting sweetly towards us it shines like a beacon(2).

As we are all implicitly tasked with spreading the light of knowledge, and with the sharing of our seldom-sufficient experiential access to the wonderments that elevate Human Existence above the plebian in whatever manner we can, I felt compelled to share this Thanksgiving Feast of meaning. While I understand that it is not cafeteria-grade fare, I stand by my analysis: "Confused Dog Humps Boy Who Loves Video Games" is a visual masterpiece.

The sound that accompanies said video, however, can be accurately classified as non-sexual pornography. It serves no lasting purpose. Mute the damn thing.

It is late and I can't believe I'm writing at all. Happy no-longer-Tuesday, and I will see you all on the other side of finals. Once I've had some real sleep, I promise to use my power-of-posting-stuff a little more wisely.

A little.

(1) The objective appears to involve some sort of security detail... but the artist organized his shot so the true nature of Hamlet's struggle is intentionally vague. In this he follows the lead of the underappreciated Tarantino, Quentin who gave us the "mysterious suitcase" in his second film, Pulp Fiction, or Wordsworth, William's truncation of Xanadu through the device of the Man from Porlock.

(2) We shall say nothing about the Gaze, as the position of the artist vis a vis his subject is outside the scope of this piece.

P.S. - I'm not the only one doing damage control today!