Jamie Antonisse

You basically called me out and asked me to put my geek cred on the line, Jamie. You know exactly what you're doing, confound you.

For prestige, let us first consult the Oxford English Dictionary*:
Dork
Nerd
Geek

Now, for relevancy, let us consult Urban Dictionary:
Dork
Nerd
Geek

When I was little, my father and uncle explained to me that in their esteem, a nerd is someone who understands the mathematics behind a particular problem of field of study to a terrifying degree, but cared little for the actual work of implementing their ideas. Sort of like a wizard who eschews the affairs of men.

A geek on the other hand, is less interested in the theories underpinning a problem, but loves seeing theory in action. Especially if it leads to explosions. Much more like a sorcerer (to continue this eldritch analogy), hedge-wizard, or lesser Mythbuster, who may be an overwhelmingly competent mechanical engineer, but really just likes to see things explode.

Dork has always just meant whale-junk in my neck of the woods, and generally refers to asocial tendencies uncoupled from any particular knowledge or competence.

I think the theory/action dichotomy has filtered into the mainstream in subtle, but tangible ways: Nerdcore hip-hop, for instance, is a great idea in theory, but in practice is often awkward (despite the presence of backup dancers). Even MC Frontalot, arguably the godfather of nerdcore, seems to recognize the inherent limitations of applying nerdly ways to his craft.

Geeks on the other hand will happily bash things together will or nil until something works. Thus the Geeksquad, whose staggering incompetence and moral bankruptcy (google your own damn citation) does little to impede their ability to set up wireless networks.

That kid running around his backyard with a camcorder forcing his friends to wear squibs made of condoms filled with cornstarch blood? That right there is a geek. The kid who reads horror 'zines and can tell you 50 different ways to manufacture said squibs, but is too embarrassed to get his older brother to buy him some condoms? Well, there's your a nerd.

I think however, the definitions are too flexible: our modern argot for describing persons skilled in those less social arts is fluid, and justifiably so. Particularly in those fields where the difference between theory and action are very close. Is writing about science fiction really so different from writing science fiction? Isn't making a game the marriage of rules and their implementation, and properly done, doesn't it involve playing the dickens out of it as you go along?

Personally, I think there is a wealth of untapped pejoratives that are waiting to be similarly reclaimed by our community. Pencil-neck, pedant, know-it-all, space-case, etc. you get the idea.

I myself prefer warlock.

*Those of you who are jerks, like me, and read Interactive from home will have to VPN into USC in order to access the OED.

Tell me WHAT I NEED TO DO to justify calling myself a total warlock, and I'll do it.

I like your categories... though the lack of love for "dork" saddens me it is not a rare thing... but I find it interesting that they revolve around activities.

If the definitions of nerd and geek revolve around activity instead of interest, where sits the lonely Comic Book Guy? He is a specialist, but he is not actively doing/solving anything. The theory/practice dichotomy does not seem to apply (unless I'm missing something).

This does not mean I don't love your Dad and Uncle. I do. My love for them is an undying and terrible fire. But to me, the amateur horror condom-slinger is still a dork.

I am disappointed that neither of you included in your remarks some vestige of the classical definition of geek as one who eats live animals or bugs. This is my personal favorite.

Tracy, that's OED definition 2.

And also totally gross.

Not that we're above such things.

Jamie, you just have to know in your heart if you're cool enough to be a warlock. Just ask Alan Moore.