kurt

Negative Space

I would like to explain my absence, both mentally and physically, over the last 5 days (without apologizing, as I am typically inclined to do by some kind of instinctual politeness): on Friday I was informed that my cousin had died unexpectedly. The surprise of the news overwhelmed all my other concerns, even though it was a relatively small emotional shock for me considering the violence and proximity of the event. Obligations and relationships are suddenly shifted and seen in high contrast to each other. In an email I wrote to a friend I described the experience as hitting a land mine and then watching the explosion from both an internal and external perspective, frame by frame, paying close attention to the gaps between images, wondering how so much can happen between images, when the shutter is closed. Yesterday I attended her funeral in Ventura and completed the parabolic arc of my metaphoric existence as a reflective projectile. Now I am back on the ground, far from where I started, a bit burrowed in but glad to be alive. Thanks for understanding.