marientina

(Side note: It used to be that contrary to the US, Greece lacked greatly in mental health services, but mental health hospitals were more available and up to recently, there were very few homeless people, and they weren't really associated with mental illness precisely. Drug and alcohol abuse used to be why people were found sleeping on benches. Another thing that made things simpler, was that in a monoethnic society, people take care of their own. This has changed in recent years. With immigration almost up to 15%, the Greeks have (re) discovered they are less willing to help the 'others'. Mental health services in the US unfortunately have recently also gone to hell..)

Moving to the Unites States almost thirteen years ago was a traumatic event. I am a pretty good chameleon, but the amount of adjustment I have had to endure has been tremendous. I can say that I anticipated almost all of the trauma, except that to my health.I have always been fragile since conception. In fact, I owe my existence to a crazy Greek obstetrician who was one of my mother's closest friend's. If it weren't for him, I would have been scraped off in some medical waste bucket. I was a 'miscarriage', yet a single person's faith in my existence changed my destiny. This same doctor outlived his doctor's diagnosis of lung cancer and lived happily till his mid 80's, dancing and groping women. He also volunteered at Chicago's crappiest hospitals, helping women who were destitute and working for free. He was a doctor I understood. He cared. He took an oath. Coming from a country that claims Hippocrates and his oath, I take personal offense to doctors who don't.

The past thirteen years, I have been exposed to medical negligence, seen others exposed to medical negligence, have been misinformed, ignored, mismedicated, patronized, treated like an imbecile and exposed to the terrible state of the health professions in the United States. In the dozens of doctors I have seen in the past thirteen years, there have been shining exceptions of people who exemplify what a doctor is/should be. Those are the people who above all "care", and right after that "know", and right after that know when to say "I don't know". The latter, is the foundation of scientific inquiry and part of what motivates the human quest to seek the truth--whatever that means to each person. We also seek the truth out of a fundamental need to try to control our destiny. Even those who are very religious admit they visit the doctor's office from time to time...

But where am I going with all this so late at night? I came to this country to study art. I also came to this country because technology innovation was one of my strongest interests and as a teenager, I had heard of things like VR and wanted to study it. What happened? I found myself in love with art, then went broke. I found myself in love with teaching, then burned out. I found myself always fascinated by anything that has an electronic heartbeat. I guess that hasn't changed much, but I am a bit more jaded by what constitutes innovation. But by far, and for the longest, I found myself fascinated most by the human body and how it functions.

I have always been an avid reader of medical information ever since I received a Disney Medical Encyclopedia for kids. It saved my life because I was able to diagnose myself with asthma and convince my parents to take me to the emergency room when I was 12 years old. Hypoxia is not a sexy way to die. Hence began my medical journey that has included dealing with many stupid accidents due to my "clubfootedness", many side effects of those accidents, your garden variety of expected inherited conditions, and the unforgiving journey of aging. Yes, aging. Believe me: it will catch up with you too. It gets some sooner than others.

The past thirteen years, I have had to become my own primary physician because of the dire state of the health profession in this country. If I actually filled all the prescriptions I was recommended over the years, I would be on approx fifteen to twenty medications on a daily basis and in my opinion, probably not feeling good. More than likely dead from complications and drug interactions...Yet today, I function mostly with one daily pill, a few supplements and over the counter medications. This is no miracle or coincidence: it is a result of years of research, experimentation and advice-seeking. And yet, three months ago, I had to actually go back to Greece in order to get a proper diagnosis and treatment for a very routine health problem. I am outraged at this point, but not surprised: the body is very complicated and I can't expect the ultimate wisdom to come from someone who has never met me before and groped me for 10 minutes. That would make me a pretty cheap date...

The last few years, I have participated in a global forum on Thalassemia and heard about the state of the medical profession in dozens of countries. There is worse--always...But there is better too. And I am always surprised to hear where that is. We now have such thing called the phenomenon of medical tourism. Modern world advances are great, but sometimes the truth can be found in something people have known for hundreds of years thanks to darwinism. It doesn't even need to be funded by the NIH. Imagine that...

Since the body includes the mind, I also read books on psychology and psychiatry. Growing up with a bipolar mother, a dysfunctional brother and divorced parents isn't exactly a picnic despite how common it is. There was always comfort to be found in a book: I was not alone, and even if I didn't know why something occurs, someone else has observed it. Indeed, knowing we are not alone is very important in this world. So many years later, I found that what I really care about is health education and behavior. I have always wanted to know why things work the way they do in the body, why we do certain things and how those connections are made. Thankfully, I am not alone in those interests. I am still a novice, even though my first intervention involved switching my mom's tranquilizer pills with aspirin to observe the placebo effect. Admittedly, practicing on family usually minimized the chance of being sued, but then again I was in sixth grade...

The last few months, I found myself buried into writing grants. Two years ago, I dreamed about an NIH grant. I am closer to that now then I was two years ago. I am also considering a doctoral degree in something that has to do with education, health, communication, etc. I have looked at my options. Not hurried yet. For once, not hurried at all. I have often been cursed with spreading myself too thin all over the place. I have always admired specialists, those people who dedicate their life to a single cause. We need those people.

But the medical profession has lost its generalists. They are a species living under the threat of extinction. I understand that the field has grown so much that it can't be covered by a single person. I understand that other professions have been trying to fill in the gaps: public health professionals, social workers, nurses, etc. I understand. I really do. But don't expect me to sit here with my hands tied and do nothing. A generalist isn't a jack of all trades and master of none. A generalist knows of the trades so they can point you to the one you need. Try finding what you want into the yellow pages without an index or categories. To quote one of my faves "do you feel lucky today punk? Do ya?". This is what a doctor's visit has become today...

I dream that one day, all my interests will converge. I still preach that being trained as an artist is one of the most valuable educations one can have. Learning how to see is incredibly valuable. Learning how to do is also incredibly valuable, and I have some skills in those areas. But learning, followed by doing, and doing, followed by learning is an iterative process that takes a lifetime. It is a lifetime. You simply don't stop. I find that a fundamental failure of the health professions is a failure to keep learning or keep doing. Somewhere in between, a wall was built. Add politics, social economics and globalization, and we have a mess that cannot be reasoned with. Now we're talking complexity theory to the n-th. This is the world that we live in today and it is only now starting to get interesting. Now we're also talking it is almost 1 am and I hope I don't have strep throat because everyone else I know seems to have it.

Five years after my MFA, I am still searching for truth. I have a dream to never find it.

P.S. If you have an interest in the area of interactive media and applications in health, do tell. We have some things cooking. If you read this far, thanks.