Michael Steffen

Avoiding Burnout

"Treat yourself as a precious object." -Chris Swain

Chris Swain briefly mentioned the need to avoid burnout in our Business of IM class today. Those words resonated with a few of us 3rd Year thesis students, who are already feeling burned out with 5 weeks in the semester to go.

I can't speak for them, but as for me this feeling of burnout started really hitting me last week and despite skipping a class last week, and trying to take Sunday super easy, I'm not doing a whole lot better so far this week.

Don't get me wrong. Burnout is far more comfortable than the nervous angst that drove my last post. But nervous angst is more productive. I'm only working at half speed lately, compared to what I was doing at the beginning of the semester. In September, I wrote an entire draft of my Telmahre script in a week. Last week, I got one whole scene written! Granted, I'm staying on top of the most important priorities with my project. But oh to be able to work at September speeds!

So it's too late to avoid burnout, but fortunately I am not COMPLETELY burned out yet. I can work in the mornings and get one significant thing done a day. But then after that, burnout kicks in.

So what does burnout feel like?

Well, for me, it's a mixture of mental slowness and emotional dullness. I've lost perspective on why I am doing all I'm doing. Instead, the dominant thoughts are on what I haven't been focusing on. I daydream about girlfriends, wilderness getaways, simpler times like high school, cross-country roadtrips, Ducktales, swing dancing...

What About My Career?

I remarked in class today that I am worried even moreso about long-term burnout. I am content (after a nice Christmas away, I might even say "happy" again) to work on my thesis project--to see it through to completion. I've got a great team, and the end result is going to be cool.

But if I am to push hard to get Telmahre done (as I want to), then the thought of starting a job when I graduate, where I am expected to work as hard or harder than I am working now--that thought is nauseating and revolting to me right now. But isn't that counter-intuitive to the IM program? We're supposed to be doing this to help our careers, right? And yet I'm just not that excited about entering the working world right now.

I don't like this. There was something that drew me to the program--to the field of interactive entertainment. Something exciting, fresh, pioneering. If I could figure that out, maybe I could seize upon the opportunities--seize my destiny as it were.

Yet my mind continues to wander on the things that have been neglected...

Meeting new people. Taking time to get to know better the people already in my life. Church involvement. Athletics. Finding a girlfriend. Travel. Sleep. Family.

It's all right. USC has been and continues to be well worth it, despite the sacrifices. But my worry is that I won't be able to keep up this pace after May. Will I have the energy to pursue the kind of high-profile career that I used to think I wanted? Or is there some other path for me, post grad-school?

Ah well...