Michael Steffen

3D Glasses for 3-Eyed Aliens and Cyclops

My fiancee and I have some quite random conversations. The other night, we walked by an ad for the Toy Story 3D movies, and we started wondering about how the 3-eyed alien's 3D glasses would work if he was real. My brother later joined in on the conversation and he brought up the cyclops-monster Bob from Monsters vs. Aliens. We came up with some ideas, but I wanted to first pose the question to the IM department:

Assuming each creature is in a HUMAN 3D movie theater (i.e. 2 projectors in stereoscopic 3D or red-blue stereo), how do each creature's 3D glasses work? (Or do they work at all?)

Beyond USC

March already. I can't believe it. I was driving home from my internship at Warner Bros. today (looong drive!) and was thinking about my post USC career. That age old question of what I want to do with the rest of my life. Maybe "rest of my life" is too broad. How about the next year?

Game Producer?

I'm enjoying working at Warner Bros. Interactive (WBIE), and am trying to gear my internship toward discovering whether I could see myself working there (or somewhere else in the game industry) as a Producer. What I really like about Producers at WBIE is that they have a lot of creative input on the games being produced, but don't actually have to do the grunt work of level design, art, or programming. During my time here at USC, I've realized I really don't like the nuts-and-bolts of game design. To me, it's like doing a math problem--I'm not sure I'm wired to create the kind of rules systems that complex games require. I just don't enjoy it. I'd much rather collaborate with a designer who's good at what he does--sort of the way a film director collaborates with a cinematographer.

A Writer for Games? Films? TV?

So far, I don't think I could see myself as a straight-out writer. I am still researching this, but it seems to be that most writers out there write with the hope of ultimately selling their ideas to someone who will pay for them. I am very protective of my ideas and could not see simply selling them to someone. But more than that, I have a very proactive attitude when it comes to my ideas. When I write something, I'm more often than not already thinking about what I want to make it into. Again, goes back to the notion of being some sort of producer.

A Filmmaker?

When I'm at Warner Bros., I still get the greatest kick out of walking around on the Warner movie lot. Would love to make a film or two someday.

Christian Entertainment?

In my opinion, most of it's not very good or it caters solely to those who already believe (preaches to the choir). Maybe I could improve upon it, as well as promote broader-reaching messages. (If you really want to see a poor-quality Christian video game, play Catechumen . Sadly, I think they were intending to promote Christianity with it, but in my opinion it has the opposite effect).

Forget About the Entertainment Industry?

Long-term, I think I'll always have that desire to create things and tell stories, so I doubt I'll be able to stay away forever. But I am kind of burned out right now, and am looking forward to doing some different things (on the side, if nothing else). Some are more random than others:
- Travel -- Europe and a cross-country roadtrip with friends both sound appealing.
- Singing in front of a cover band
- Picking up piano again and making myself learn to play Rhapsody in Blue and some Vince Guiraldi
- Something with kids--maybe coaching an intramural/city-league boys basketball team (the younger the better so they don't know that I'm not that good).
- Getting involved at church in some way--maybe with high schoolers.
- Getting back into bike riding and surfing
- Doing some more improv comedy videos (doesn't really count as "professional entertainment", I think)

Future Projects

So when I come back from the extended vacation in which I do all of the above (yeah right), there are a lot of projects in my head that I'd like to work on to some extent. Some brief descriptions:

- Playing around with some 2D animation, perhaps making a cartoon based on my Turkeyman character.
- Continuing Telmahre. There's so much story & emotion I wanted to explore but couldn't fit into a student thesis project. I'm thinking it might be cool to write it as a series of novels (which I could later turn into a game or feature film!)
- Picking up the Ocean Temple story I started 5 or 6 years ago and then dropped in favor of Telmahre.
- A romantic comedy
- A 1990s high school nostalgia film (yep, it's been almost 8 years since I graduated!!)
- Several music videos I have in mind

Beyond Spirituality: Thoughts on the David Lynch Talk

I enjoyed hearing David Lynch speak on Wednesday night. He is an inspiring individual, and had a lot of good things to say on the topic of transcendental meditation. Now I am a Christian, as many of you know, though I don't believe there is anything inherently incompatible between meditation and Christianity. In fact, I wonder whether the kind of enhanced state of consciousness that Mr. Lynch speaks of could enhance one's spiritual life--one's faith as well.

That said, I wanted to add a few thoughts--personal opinions, which may change as I think through them more:

"Self-Seeking"?

Though I've never actually performed transcendental meditation, I do often spend time trying to get in closer touch with myself. Lynch and especially John Hagelin seemed to suggest that being completely in touch with "self" is the highest awareness one can achieve. But such a view, I believe, is incomplete because it does not acknowledge God, the One who is greater than ourselves. In fact, the Abrahamic faiths teach that we must deny ourselves in the face of God who is greater than us--submit to Him, rather than ourselves. Only then are we truly free.

Oneness or Duality?

Hagelin talked about achieving "oneness." Again, I think opening oneself up to a higher level of consciousness through meditation is an interesting idea, though I think caution is advisable. For I think that there is not a "oneness" to everything, but rather a duality. That is, good vs. evil. If one opens oneself up to a higher level of consciousness, I would think that would make the person susceptible to influences both good and evil. I haven't meditated transcendentally though, and perhaps I am comparing meditation too closely to prayer.

Beyond Spirituality

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens;
As close as a heartbeat or a song on our lips. - Jars of Clay

Spirituality is a wonderful thing--and I would much rather have everyone just be spiritual than not at all. Though a defining element of my own faith is a belief in a personal God--a God who chooses to personify himself for our benefit--one that we can each have a personal relationship with. I just feel that spirituality, religion, whatever you like to call it, is incomplete without this one important element.

Don't get me wrong. Lynch and Co. are onto something--and it many areas, I am sure they know far more than me. But without God directly in the equation, I question whether Mr. Lynch ever will fully reach enlightenment.

But again, these are merely my personal opinions and should be taken as such.

Avoiding Burnout

"Treat yourself as a precious object." -Chris Swain

Chris Swain briefly mentioned the need to avoid burnout in our Business of IM class today. Those words resonated with a few of us 3rd Year thesis students, who are already feeling burned out with 5 weeks in the semester to go.

I can't speak for them, but as for me this feeling of burnout started really hitting me last week and despite skipping a class last week, and trying to take Sunday super easy, I'm not doing a whole lot better so far this week.

Don't get me wrong. Burnout is far more comfortable than the nervous angst that drove my last post. But nervous angst is more productive. I'm only working at half speed lately, compared to what I was doing at the beginning of the semester. In September, I wrote an entire draft of my Telmahre script in a week. Last week, I got one whole scene written! Granted, I'm staying on top of the most important priorities with my project. But oh to be able to work at September speeds!

So it's too late to avoid burnout, but fortunately I am not COMPLETELY burned out yet. I can work in the mornings and get one significant thing done a day. But then after that, burnout kicks in.

So what does burnout feel like?

Well, for me, it's a mixture of mental slowness and emotional dullness. I've lost perspective on why I am doing all I'm doing. Instead, the dominant thoughts are on what I haven't been focusing on. I daydream about girlfriends, wilderness getaways, simpler times like high school, cross-country roadtrips, Ducktales, swing dancing...

What About My Career?

I remarked in class today that I am worried even moreso about long-term burnout. I am content (after a nice Christmas away, I might even say "happy" again) to work on my thesis project--to see it through to completion. I've got a great team, and the end result is going to be cool.

But if I am to push hard to get Telmahre done (as I want to), then the thought of starting a job when I graduate, where I am expected to work as hard or harder than I am working now--that thought is nauseating and revolting to me right now. But isn't that counter-intuitive to the IM program? We're supposed to be doing this to help our careers, right? And yet I'm just not that excited about entering the working world right now.

I don't like this. There was something that drew me to the program--to the field of interactive entertainment. Something exciting, fresh, pioneering. If I could figure that out, maybe I could seize upon the opportunities--seize my destiny as it were.

Yet my mind continues to wander on the things that have been neglected...

Meeting new people. Taking time to get to know better the people already in my life. Church involvement. Athletics. Finding a girlfriend. Travel. Sleep. Family.

It's all right. USC has been and continues to be well worth it, despite the sacrifices. But my worry is that I won't be able to keep up this pace after May. Will I have the energy to pursue the kind of high-profile career that I used to think I wanted? Or is there some other path for me, post grad-school?

Ah well...

Late-Night Ramblings of a Thesis Student

Wrote this stream-of-consciousness. Decided to post it. Not sure why.

Knocked off balance. Knocked? Or did I slip? I feel this tension inside. I can't even comprehend what my thesis project will look like right now. I know what I'd like it to look like when finished, but is that anywhere close to reality? I don't have a place to shoot. I need live-action footage. It's a huge part of my project. There are so many variables. So many unknowns. Certainly any work I get done this semester will be more than I've ever done before. But will that be enough? Part of me says make a schedule. But I'm worried it won't be at all realistic. The shoot is the biggest unknown for me right now. Getting a space is only part of it. There's cost (do I even have a budget?), figuring out how to shoot reliable panoramas of a room, the logistics of getting a crew together, and the fact that I desperately want to act in it--and I'm not talking a Hitchcock-style cameo. No, I'm thinking Orson Welles.

I think acting is what got me into all this into the first place. But now I have an interaction-design that I'm really excited about seeing implemented, so I can't slack there either. Maybe if I run into a jam, I can cut the run-length of each moment in time. But I don't think I can cut any more moments--otherwise my interaction-design won't really make sense. I'm worried about getting it all done. I can't believe it's the middle of September already! I bet I can get a lot more done than I'm giving myself credit for right now. But what should take priority? Revising the story/interaction design? Making a functional scene, even if it only contains placeholder art & video? Throw everything into getting the video production going? Somehow, that last one's a paradox. On the one hand, it's the aspect that's stressing me out the most. On the other hand, if the writing & design are good, and the software functions properly to reflect the writing & design, then I don't want production to eat up all my time and effort. If I spend time on the writing, the live-action footage will be good because the actors performances will be good--even if I have to shoot it in my living room (gag!).

Hmm. So how do I keep the priority where I want it, while still putting due effort into the production? It's like I don't really want to think about the production for another month, but I'm worried that if I don't secure a soundstage or other location NOW, I won't have a place to shoot when the time comes. I wonder whether I could shoot the Prelude scenes now. They won't change a whole lot since they're the least interactive. Then I'd have actual footage to put into the engine to test with. Still don't know what to focus on. Worried this will cause me to not focus on anything, as it did today.

Then there's the desire to somehow slip a social life in there somewhere. I'm not asking for a lot. People to hang with. People to have deep conversations with. A woman. I dunno. I want people to know me for who I am. I worry that I hide sometimes behind a shallow facade. How many people really know me? And if they don't know me, is it their fault or is it mine?

Maybe I should sleep...

Lessons From Church: Being Content With Your Life Now

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whther living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV)

I recently started going to a church group for 22-26 year olds called The Finding at Bel Air Presbyterian Church. Currently, they're doing a lecture series entitled "What I Wish I Knew in My 20s Now That I'm In My 40s". This week's talk was based on the above verse, and I wanted to blog about it because I found it particularly poignant for myself, a grad student with one year to go.

The gist of the talk was that it's easy at our age to look ahead and say (well, I'll paraphrase it in terms of our department): "Someday when I have that great job as a game designer at EA, the six-figure salary, a wife, etc. then I'll be content." But, the speaker pointed out, if we're not content now, we won't be content then either. It's good to look ahead, but we need to get all we can out of whatever our current position is in life.

So, especially for all you new IM grads, take full advantage of everything USC, the Cinema School, and the IM department have to offer while you're here.

Workaholic Rehab

So last semester I basically realized that I had become a workaholic, and that my life priorites were askew. I'm not sure exactly when it started (the realization that is). Maybe it was around the time of my birthday when I had such difficulty getting people together to help celebrate with me--in fact people seemed disinterested. But no, it started earlier than that. It started in mid-November when I was trying to figure out the protagonist of my romantic comedy. It was at that point that I realized how self-centered my focus had been--how I was only seeing people for what they could do for me, rather than just as people.

Well these realizations were like (I'd imagine) coming off a drug addiction. Around finals time last semester, I found that I had difficulty functioning, this new awareness now firmly in my head. The realization that hit hardest I think was that I lacked an accesible core group of friends--that my personal life was too intertwined with my professional one to really have an existence of its own.

This semester, I'm endeavering to live differently--to actively work on my personal life--to get to really know the people in my life better. But it's been difficult--mainly because it's a new way of thinking for me. Without one creative project or another to keep me busy at any given moment, there is a vacuum there that I need to learn to fill in different ways.

It's also difficult because I feel like the culture of the cinema school, or perhaps the city as a whole, is so rooted in achieving personal success (at all costs, one might even say). And here I am thinking I'd like to devote nearly equal time to my personal life as I do to my professional life. Finding like-minded people around here might prove difficult...but I guess I'll keep trying nonetheless.

High School Nostalgia

Was listening to Launchcast Internet Radio again today, and it started playing "Seether" by Veruca Salt. For some reason, this made me think about high school. Nostalgia's an interesting thing because you only tend to remember the good parts, rather than all the annoyances and the fact that you've come so far as a person since then.

Especially in the beginning of high school, there's this feeling of "I'm in a new place with new people. Completely unexplored territory, anything's possible." Free of the "realities" of adulthood, the mind is free to imagine the possibilities.

Someday I will write a 90s nostalgia movie! Oh yes I will!

Response to Kellee's Post: Holiday Quiz

Wow, I understand 100%. It's kind of sad, but I always find myself hesitating before I answer--do you do that too? Hmm, let's see...

I generally spin it towards what I'm interested in, since it's such a broad subject. Often goes something like this:
- First, I mention that we're affiliated with the School of Cinema-Television. This often has the effect of setting the asker more at ease, since she at least thinks she knows what ballpark my studies are in.
- Then I say some spiel about how we're studying ways to take traditional film storytelling techniques and make them interactive.
- Almost invariably, the asker thinks she gets it at this point, and goes on to say "so it's like animation then?"
- "No," I reply, "because you can't change what's happening on-screen."
- "Oh, uh...so what other kind of things are like that..."
- At that point, I reluctantly mention games.
- "Oh games!"
- "Well, not really. I'm trying to move beyond games..."
- The asker is confused for several moments, until the phrase "Choose Your Own Adventure" pops into her head, at which point I'm tempted to go into the potential pitfalls of simple branching narrative. But then I think better of it and simply nod.
- The asker then makes a closing comment either to the tune of: "Well computers are the future!" or "Remember to cast me when you make it big in Hollywood," before walking away.

Ah Wonderful Sleep Deprivation!

Sleep deprivation! Such an easy thing to get into...such a difficult thing to get out of. I first learned of this its effects as an undergrad at UCSD--in fact, it got to the point where I almost found myself scientifically studying its effects, but anyway...

I'm sleep deprived, and trying hard to shake it. Easy, you say, just get some sleep. Heh heh heh, if only. Here are some contributing factors:
1) I'm a Nightowl - I tend to wake up mentally just before bedtime. This is often the most creative time of my day, and yet it's the time I most need to be mentally inactive.
2) My Room's Less-Than-Comfortable - You know something's wrong when it's easier to sleep on the living room couch than in your own bed...
3) My Schedule's Whacked - My schedule & the schedules of those around me are just not conducive to sleeping early. I've never been one to want to sleep when others are up having fun (or slaving over homework as the case may be). The worst offenders, however, are my two 'til-10PM classes. Come home and go to sleep? Yeah right!
4) I Just Don't Like Going to Sleep - Don't get me wrong: I LOVE sleeping--I just don't like going to sleep in the first place. It may sound strange, but at least part of it is an issue with losing control: somehow the idea of "losing consciousness" is less-than-appealing.

Another Thought

Maybe 8:30AM work shifts at Zemeckis are just too early. But on the same token, 3AM is just way to late to get to sleep. Ah well, such is the life of a grad student, I guess.

Thoughts of the Day

1) American nationalism is pathetically weak nowadays.

2) I really need to produce something nice & shiny NOW!

3) I want to be able to get through a semester without borrowing from my credit card or my parents. Oh for a balanced budget!

4)I want to have some inkling of what kind of career I might want upon graduating. Not sure whether simple titles like: Game Designer or Film Director fit my unique skill-set. How does my love of talking with people fit in? How does my faith factor in? Should these factor in?

5) What's up with Christian cliques?! I still don't get those people who have tons of Bible verses memorized, hang out ONLY with other Christians, etc, etc...basically going through all the motions, yet fearful to death of questioning their own beliefs. How can you evangelize to someone if you're not willing to even consider the possibility that you're wrong?

6) I wanna perform! Use my vocal & acting talents. MC, DJ, something!

7) Maybe I need to exploit the fact that I'm at USC FILM SCHOOL even more. Maybe I'm more interested in the word "Media" than I am "Interactive" (was that too taboo to say? Will the EA god strike me down?)

Nostalgia:

I just discovered the other day that I have access to Launchcast Plus internet radio (http://launch.yahoo.com), and the best part is that they have several stations dedicated to the 1990s, including "Hits of 10 Years Ago: 1994", and "1990s Alternative Rock." Wow, what a trip! Makes me feel old when half of my favorite songs are on these stations! And then there's the random ones we all forgot about, like "Regulate" by Warren G, "Fantastic Voyage" by Coolio, and "Insane in the Brain" by Cypress Hill

It's weird, but for a moment I was experiencing nostalgia for high school--things were in many ways simpler back then...but then of course, we didn't realize it then. One of these days, I think I want to make a 90s nostalgia film!