yeah, that's such a good question. i don't know myself really. i've been noticing pre-pubescent children in parks and school yards lately (with a new perspective so that i can try and have new insights into 'gaming') and it is the case that more often than not, the boys and the girls play seperately from one another - a kind of voluntary segragation. boys play rougher generally and take control of the ball or whatever else is the main object of power within the game. they enjoy it more. girls seem happier giving it up, not having to take the heat involved with the procurement of power (which of course lasts a fleeting moment anyway).
so, what do little girls, teenage girls, young women and mature woman enjoy?
surely, there are girls and young women who enjoy the same thrills are gamer boys, this is true.
but for the millions of other girls, what can we offer them? do girls want to escape reality? do they enjoy power struggles? do they enjoy killing? do they enjoy driving cars fast? speaking personally, these activities bore me - sometimes i wish they didn't, it'd be fun to have fun, but it's not the case.
i think that games that foster collaboration can be intriguing - girls grow up in this world struggling to be equals to boys instead of realizing that they can be different because there is basically only one model of societal success - other possible models just aren't accepted as legitimate. it's hard and not fun trying to play someone else's game - you'll always be behind.

"There is basically only one model of societal success - other possible models just aren't accepted as legitimate. it's hard and not fun trying to play someone else's game - you'll always be behind." from susana

Personally, as a male player, I also suffer from some games by the same reason. For example, I'm not a driving master. Whatever efforts I made, I could not become the best driver while some other guys can easily achieve that. I told myself, it's not my type of game.

But still I find many types of game that fits me. There must be many type undiscovered that fits for female players.

For what it is worth, I think that instead of making generalizations, you would be better off just asking people for their personal experiences. I think that generalizing is why we are failing to reach the masses.

Here's my story and a few points:
I used to play a lot of games when I was in elementary school and high school and I played with my brother. We played the same computer and video games and we also liked to mix our toys: barbie + ken, stuffed animals, GI Joes, hot wheels and transformers were all tied together into elaborate story games we would play together. we never questioned this too much.

I don't know if it makes a difference but I grew up in a very un-gendered family, from toys to clothes to house work. My parents are very gender oblivious although my mom on occasion wishes that I could be more lady-like (even though she isn't) and my dad wonders why I don't wear skirts more often. To add to the complexity, my dad actually taught me how to do most things that the western world considers feminine: sewing, cooking and primping. Class makes a difference in some countries, where poor farmers (such as my dad's family) are less gendered in their skills. Bourgeois-like families such as my mother's are more likely to be gender-polarized in behavior.

My brother and I played ATARI games, game boy, nintendo, sega and pc games: paper boy, super mario, tetris, pac man, commander, puzzles, alley cat, flight simulator, etc. As we got older, I had less time to play games but my brother still plays. He still plays flight simulator games, but also plays Medal Gear and many first person shooters. When we were in high school, game boy was big and it was a 60/40 boys/girls who were on it non-stop.

I still play old-style games and I enjoy puzzles and other similar games that help my mind get more organized. I have always wanted to try some other games but never seem to have time. I prefer to go to the beach if I have spare time, or read a book. Even in my VR experience, I always enjoyed more ambient art projects and virtual tours instead of interactive demos or Quake in the CAVE. I do enjoy the Sims but I don't have time to play and I feel committed to hand hold them once I have a town or family. I am not attracted to role-playing games much because I find it hard to buy into the whole ambience. I am not too sure why that is. I like games that 'feel' physical and are simple in their mechanic. These days, as many know, I am addicted to ZUMA. I even enjoy the little stupid sounds the game makes. I play it on my phone and on Yahoo. I play many similar Yahoo games. I also grew up playing endless hours of solitaire or physical card games with friends and family, and a lot of board games: monopoly, scrabble, risk, life and dominoes. I even played a lot of backgammon and I was viciously good at it as a teenager.

You must take into consideration how people allocate time and why. In a traditional country like Greece old men still spend their time playing backgammon or cards or chess. My grandfather (a lawyer) snubbed both as too low class and preferred to play chess after work for more than 30 years. He is impossible to beat and was featured in the local paper many years ago. Women also play cards but they tend to play different style games and they do it in a segregated way to gossip about they spouses.

You need to ask questions about leisure, education, tradition, addiction, taboo and so much more. If you are truly interested in this study, you need to narrow it down to a little chunk.

Why have male developers try to find out "what women want?" Why not just have women developers make games that attract women? I've noticed a lot of game downloads attract women. Maybe that's a start.

I'm male game developer. And the greatest part of customers of our solitaire card game are women.