Sorry to hear about your cousin. As I sit here, as I often do, whittling away the time until the weee hours of the morning (it just happens to be 4:30am) I am consumed by your frankness and I really feel the need to reach out to you...as I am sure you may not know, I am deeply religious. I attend church every Sunday that I am able and I tend to meditate a lot. I have said before that I would be there for you if you needed me...that was many moons ago...on the loading dock in our first year. But the attitude remains the same. If you need to talk, or if you want to rant, call, email or blog me. All the best Kurt...sorry for your loss. --Sam