hmm...it is interesting to see your post just blow up here at the same time that I have been trying to deal with my depression. A shitty few months it has been and not just for me. Sometimes it is a consolation to think that life is cyclical and that what goes down must come up. But in truth, we all have fears and loneliness. When you lose someone and you confront their lifeless body, you realize how unimportant certain things in life are, that we fret over bullshit and that there has to be a reason to make do in an honorable way and leave your mark.
And yet we continue to be involved in our banal daily moments, rolling all over in our routine, like pigs in the mud.
If you have felt unsupported from the group I testify to that as guilty and as a victim myself of the apathy. I would like to at least state that I am always available to people as an ear if you have to vent.
Unfortunately for most of us, we create great art out of our misery. We fear parting with our pain as if it will take away with it everything that we know. After a few years worth of being slapped with misery and hardship, you realize that life will keep confronting you and there is nothing you can do but play ball with it. Sometimes you win. When you are faced with your own mortality, the only thing to think about is to understand whether you are afraid of the unknown or the known? Is it where you are going or what you are leaving behind?
Not to sound corny but if you have loved and been loved in life, your life will not perish. You will continue to face your own mortality and that of others until your end. Some will hurt more than others. Some you will never forget. It will never stop. It is not that I am fatalistic. I am bitter and my father's survivalist teachings echo in my ear every day and night.
As intellectual beings, we continue to seek more from life and try to leave our mark anyway we can. I see that in you, you are resisting what is so obvious to the rest of us, yet we have to let you find your own path, as good 'parents' should.
Sometimes, we forget what is really important or we try to impose alternate meanings to what is screaming out to us. Don't let that be you.
hmm...it is interesting to see your post just blow up here at the same time that I have been trying to deal with my depression. A shitty few months it has been and not just for me. Sometimes it is a consolation to think that life is cyclical and that what goes down must come up. But in truth, we all have fears and loneliness. When you lose someone and you confront their lifeless body, you realize how unimportant certain things in life are, that we fret over bullshit and that there has to be a reason to make do in an honorable way and leave your mark.
And yet we continue to be involved in our banal daily moments, rolling all over in our routine, like pigs in the mud.
If you have felt unsupported from the group I testify to that as guilty and as a victim myself of the apathy. I would like to at least state that I am always available to people as an ear if you have to vent.
Unfortunately for most of us, we create great art out of our misery. We fear parting with our pain as if it will take away with it everything that we know. After a few years worth of being slapped with misery and hardship, you realize that life will keep confronting you and there is nothing you can do but play ball with it. Sometimes you win. When you are faced with your own mortality, the only thing to think about is to understand whether you are afraid of the unknown or the known? Is it where you are going or what you are leaving behind?
Not to sound corny but if you have loved and been loved in life, your life will not perish. You will continue to face your own mortality and that of others until your end. Some will hurt more than others. Some you will never forget. It will never stop. It is not that I am fatalistic. I am bitter and my father's survivalist teachings echo in my ear every day and night.
As intellectual beings, we continue to seek more from life and try to leave our mark anyway we can. I see that in you, you are resisting what is so obvious to the rest of us, yet we have to let you find your own path, as good 'parents' should.
Sometimes, we forget what is really important or we try to impose alternate meanings to what is screaming out to us. Don't let that be you.
Posted by marientina at December 12, 2004 3:02 PM